9 Ways to Create Enough Time and Money for a Quality Dating Life

Recently, I asked for an update from some of my coaching clients in the IC Community. I noticed that almost all of the guys who are lagging on the dating front are also worried about their finances.

While it’s true that guys often use money as an excuse, I actually do think that it’s hard to get your dating life handled if your finances are also not in order. 

Financial difficulties are an emotional drain that affects our self-esteem and cause us to project insecurity to everyone around us.

The relationship between money and dating is an issue I started to think about in junior high. My plan growing up was to become a professional golfer on the PGA tour. Becoming a pro athlete, I assumed, would solve both my money and dating problems.

My plan, however, was upended in two ways. I started to lose interest in golf.  And after that, I read The Game, which made me realize that there was a lot more I could to improve with girls that had nothing to do with money.

During the first few years after college, I worked in a variety of office jobs, but my main interest was learning how to improve with girls. My progress was uneven, both professionally and in terms of dating.The issue wasn’t effort. I was working 11-hour shifts. But I also did day game approaches during my lunch break, hit the bars from 10pm-2am, and attended self-help seminars and pick up bootcamps over the weekend.

Within a few years, I spent about $82,000 on various self-development programs. It was only after I transitioned to a more fulfilling career that my results with dating skyrocketed.

The first step was negotiating a remote work deal at my venture capital firm. This freed up my time to focus on my passion of improving my skills with women and dating.

I started this blog which eventually lead to clients and I was able to quit my finance job and become a full time dating coach.

Then I built up a nice flow of passive income by hacking the sharing economy. I rented homes and subletted them on vacation rental sites like Airbnb and VRBO. I didn’t own the properties, I convinced the landlords to let me do this. I used this passive income to focus more on dating and travel.

It took me many years to figure this out, mostly through trial-and-error.

Do I have a 4-hour work week? 

No.

Do I make as much as my friends who stayed in finance? 

No. 

But I work whenever I want, wherever I want, doing a job that I love. 

No formula is going to work for everyone and I’m obviously not suggesting that you quit your job.  I actually think the structure of a 9-5 job works for a certain type of person. But if you’re looking to free up some time, generate passive income, and meet more women, here are a few tips that I’ve found generally work:· 

Become a minimalist: I know it sounds ridiculous, but as my clients get rid of all their useless shit, their success with women starts to improve.  The reason, basically, is that tidiness and control in our outer world frees up our mind to focus on our goals.·      

Hack spending: Share your typical expenses with a trusted group of friends and advisors and take a hard look at what you can eliminate. You’ll be surprised how much cash you’re spewing.       

Rent out your apartment or car: especially when you travel.      

Ask for discounts: Whenever you buy something ask for a discount by flirting with the cashier. “Did you hear today is national discount for good looking customers?” You’ll be shocked how often this actually works and you’re simultaneously improving the day of the service industry worker you’re interacting with.

Hack Credit Cards and Retirement Accounts: If you live in the US, get a rewards credit card and purchase everything on this card, make sure you pay off the balance in full every month to avoid interest fees. You’ll accumulate points for travel and cash-back.

Build passive income streams through the sharing economy: I spoke about this above, look for ways to ressurrect dead capital aka things that you own that you’re not using that other people can benefit from. ·      

Stop wasting money eating out by cooking at home: Learn to meal-prep and batch prepare your meals for the week.·You’ll save a ton of time and money and it’s way more healthy.       

Leverage a skill: Think of all the skills and knowledge you have, then find a way to tutor, offer a class, or trade to generate money on the side.

As you hack your finances, you’ll start to take a more critical look at every other aspect of your life.  Before you know it, you’ll be a "King of Leverage."

What to do next:

Reading this blog is a good first step to understanding female psychology, but most guys get caught in analysis paralysis mode by actually studying too much online content. It’s way more effective to study content that is custom tailored to your specific sticking points than reading random articles and watching self help videos. Men fall into three distinct buckets on their journey to attraction mastery.

Bucket 1 - Attraction Aspirant: You don’t consistently generate attraction. You might find yourself in a pattern where dates are rare, and when they do happen, they seldom lead to deeper connections or second dates. You’re conscious about your spending, wary of being perceived wrongly, and perhaps your style doesn’t quite express who you truly are. 

Bucket 2 - Chase Changer: You generate attraction but you find yourself chasing the women you really want instead of getting them to chase you. You are uncertainty in making bold moves. While you're attractive and successful, translating that into dating confidence, especially with high-value women, remains a challenge. Self-sabotage and hesitancy can often be the barrier between you and the dating success you seek.

Bucket 3 - Selective Strategist: You find dating and initiating connections relatively easy, but the challenge lies in attracting those who truly excite and inspire you. It's about understanding the subtle dynamics of high-value dating and leveraging your strengths to create not just any connection but the right one.

To see which bucket you fail into and to get a tailored action plan to improve, answer these 10 quick questions.